The Inevitability of Our Own Humanity

Friday, March 28, 2003 06: 25 PM

Allow me to wax philosophical for a moment. It seems in life that the only constant is change. While I have heard that statement a few too many times, its long exhausted, over used repetition does not make it any less true. I have been thinking about this recently in regards to people. People change. They just do. Its part of life, as each of us learns, grows and makes mistakes. Some people change drastically in very short periods of time, while others change over decades. None of us are the same people we were ten years ago, one year ago or even yesterday. The construct of life does not allow us to remain constant. We must evolve. We must adapt. Sure, some may be steadfast in convictions of thought, morality or behavior, but none of us can escape the inevitability of our own humanity. The inevitability of change. We, as people, can not help but change over the course of our lives. And often times this change and growth comes at the expense of making mistakes that hurt others.

This line of thinking has led me to think deeply about the concept of love. Not just love in the platitudinal, Hallmark card sense but rather real, open unconditional love. It seems we, as humanity, struggle with understanding and expressing this kind of unconditional love. The kind that knows not race, religion, politics or sexuality. The kind that understands perfectly that each of us inevitably makes mistakes. That none of us are perfect. This unconditional love is not about men and women, husbands and wives, friends and associates...it's not about staying in a relationship you shouldn't be in...this is about something more fundamental...it's about each individual. Each soul, if you will. Each of us has a unique set of circumstances, variables and constructs that make us who we are. Our behavior and actions then flow from these limited constructs. And each is unique. Though, in my belief, our lives are not deterministic, they are in a way strongly influenced by our past, our environment and our own levels of capacity at times to deal with the present.

So how does this relate to unconditional love? It's simple. We often change in an effort find love, acceptance or understanding. Unconditional love is the thing we are looking for, it's what our humanity longs for. How many of us silently cry out for this unconditional love? How many of us wait...wanting to be loved without the constraints of judgment...and to love in return. Waiting to be understood without whisperings behind our back. And yet, as each of us long to act, to love, to reach out, to be loved, to be accepted...we instead react. We divide. We judge. We in essence close the door of unconditional love, waiting for someone else to open it.

Why should we wait? We are all here, stuck in this existence. The challenges of life are plenty enough. Why compound them by not loving each other. We aren't that different than the person sitting next to us. We aren't any better. We aren't any worse. We are all humans experiencing the inevitability of our own humanity. And as such, we should find this love within ourselves and share it, share it unconditionally.

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